


What was worth waiting for

by socopotactico



Category: Glee
Genre: Fluff, Inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-18 21:56:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20320129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/socopotactico/pseuds/socopotactico
Summary: It all started with a letter, and the rest is history.





	What was worth waiting for

Whole story is in Kurt’s POV

You could never imagined how hard it would be to be in love with someone who despises you. I mean, as a gay guy, of course I’ve had crushes on straight guys that were not able of loving me back, but this time it’s not only some straight guy. It was Noah Puckerman, my brother’s douchebag of a best friend. 

Go on, tell me how it is impossible to have feelings for someone that tosses you into dumpsters and pushes you in the lockers. I have tried to ignore those feelings but they are just too strong. I just couldn’t help but see him as a helpless guy, a good person who’s been treated wrong and was taught that the only way to be accepted was becoming a bully. 

I know that feeling of being forced to do something against your will. When I was a kid, my dad would force me to put on a football jersey and play with him in the backyard, I didn’t want to, but I knew it would be best if I just didn’t say a word. The first time to other guys on the football team forced Noah to throw that grape slushy in my face, I knew he wasn’t up for it. I knew he was forced to do it because he didn’t want to become like me. Not everyone has the strength I have to be themselves and the perfect exemple is Puck. Every other bully has called me hurtful names beside Finn and Puck. Noah’s actions might be hurtful but he doesn’t use words to hurt me. He was the nicest out of all of them, and maybe I was the only one to see that, but I knew I was right. He was a good guy deep down. 

That one night, I came home with bruises on my cheeks and hands from being, once again, thrown into a dumpster, I had made up my mind. I was in love with Noah Puckerman. There was no denying how every time he pushed me into the lockers, I wanted to pull him closer and kiss him, and when he would pick me up to toss me in the dumpster I would like to stay in his arms forever. I don’t know if he noticed these kinds of things. All I knew for sure was I could not say a word about any of it, if someone found out, Puck would only make my life even more miserable. He was a bully, he was nothing but a jerk...but a jerk I loved with my hole heart. 

Not able to fall asleep, not able to forget about him, I had to do something about it. I wondered if I got him alone what would I tell him, would he be different if no on else was around, or would he be sacred and and treat me even worse? Anyway, I won’t ever find out because there was no way I could ever tell him anything. Even if I believed he wouldn’t reject me, I didn’t have the courage to even try to make a move. 

I grabbed a pen and pink paper. I’ve made tons of valentine’s day cards with this paper, usually for family members or friends, but I thought if I could write down what I wanted to say to Puck, it would make more sense in my head and help me figure out what I should do. 

After a few minutes of emptying my heart, I heard footsteps coming my way, I sealed the envelope I used to hide it in and wrote in calligraphy “Noah Puckerman”. 

“Kurt? Are you in here?”

“Yeah yeah one second!” 

I placed the enveloppe between the pages of my dictionary, I never opened it and I bet no one else would. With technology now, no one uses paper dictionaries. It was a safe place. 

“You can come in!”

“I heard noises, I wanted to check on you... are you alright?”

Finn asked sitting on my bed next to me. 

“Yeah yeah, don’t worry about me, I had to finish an important paper for tomorrow.”

“Alright well, I’ll leave you to it. Goodnight, Kurt.”

“Goodnight, Finn.”

Over the years I had completely forgotten the existence of that letter. When I said there was no way anyone would ever find it, even I did not remember putting it there. 

Three years later, things had changed a bit. Puck was not as horrible as he has been before since he joining glee club. For a while I have managed to get over my little crush, but when he sat down on a stool in the choir room and sang “Sweet Caroline”, he looked in my eyes and all of the feelings I once had came back to me. I couldn’t deny it, I couldn’t fake it, these feelings were here to stay and I doubted they would ever go away. 

Of course, now my abilities to keep my cool in front of someone I like have increased so I can easily brush off those feelings whenever he’s near me, but when I’m alone late at night, he’s the last person I think of before falling asleep and the one I always dream about. 

When Finn invites Puck over, it’s always hard to see him being so nice and authentic. He was not like that at school, or with anyone else for that matter. When I pass Finn’s room and spy on them, I can’t help but want to get to know that side of Puck. 

Finn’s never noticed before how I watched them from the hallway, stared at Puck while he was doing his homework like he was the only thing that mattered in this world. 

“Kurt, are you spying on us or something?”

Shoot. 

“No No! I was to about to walk to the grocery store and wanted to know if you’d want something?”

“If you could bring us some chips, we are going to watch a movie later,that would be really nice of you!”

Finn answered.

“Yeah! Yeah! Of course...”

Well, now I had to go to the grocery store, but at least I escaped the humiliation. 

Coming back home with five bags of chips because I didn’t know which one Puck liked the most, I tried to get back to my essay but Finn stopped by my room.

“The wifi is being a bicth today, I hope you don’t mind, I borrowed your paper dictionary.”

As he handed me back my dictionary I could still see the dirt accumulated over it. I haven’t used that thing in years. The last time I remembered opening it up was... When I wrote that letter to Puck... damn it! If he read it I am so screwed! I opened it up, looking through the pages for the little enveloppe. 

It was still there, but there’s one thing. It’s been opened, and the letter has been taken away. I wasn’t sure which one would have been the better option; Finn knowing about my feelings for his best friend, or Puck finding out how much I’ve always loved him. 

Either way it was pretty bad. 

I could not face either of them during diner, I’ve kept staring at my plate the hole time while they talked about glee club, football and Finn rambled on about his crush on Rachel. I didn’t even bother eating desert, I had more important things going through my mind. 

Thoughts were killing me, laying on my bed, looking at the empty enveloppe. I could barely remember what I wrote in there but it was bad enough to get me killed during my sleep if Puck found it. 

All the lights were off, I closed my eyes but I couldn’t fall asleep, my mind was filled with fears and I could not forget about them, even just for the night. I got up to get a glass of water in the kitchen, but I was stopped.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Puck asked grabbing my arm, but not like he used to, he didn’t want to hurt me this time, that’s already a good sign. By now I was sure he knew about the letter, why else would he want to talk to me? 

“I guess so.”

I barely had what it takes to speak. 

“Do you want to sit down?”

He asks pulling a chair for me. I just nodded and he took a seat next to me. He looked at me but I was too scared to look up, I wasn’t scared he would hurt me, but because of how much I loved him. 

“Listen, Puck. Whatever it is, I can explain!”

“I found your letter. Is it true?”. 

“I wrote that 3 years ago, Puck, it’s-“

“The only thing that I want to know is do you mean what is in that letter?” Just answer, yes or no?”

He grabbed my hand and squeezed a little, just enough to make me feel safe but not too much to hurt me. I took a deep breath and by just this one word, all I’ve ever wanted to say to him, was said.

“Yes.”

I couldn’t bring myself to see his reaction but he lifted my chin and and said, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper.

“Why haven’t you said anything before?”

“I was scared you would bully me again.”

“Kurt, I don’t want you to be afraid of me, I would never do anything like this anymore. I am not the guy I used to be.”

There was something so calm and truthfulin his voice, I wanted to believe him, I wanted it to be true so badly. 

“So you really don’t hate me?”

“I could never hate you. I know I might not have been the nicest to you and you might never forgive me for that, but if it makes any difference, the only person that I hate is myself, for doing this to you. I am incredibly sorry, Kurt.”

With every word he said he was closer to breaking down, voice cracking and breaths becoming quicker. He was usually so strong, I never thought he’d ever show me this side of him. So vulnerable, I just wanted to pull him into my arms and hug him. I could not bring myself to do such a thing yet, he could be messing around with my feelings. 

“You might think I’m pathetic, I’m a liar or I’m playing with you, but I am really not. This is me, telling you that I am sorry, and I am being one hundred percent honest.”

He said blinking his eyes a few times as a tear feel down his cheek but he wiped it away immediately. 

”Give me one reason I should believe you.”

I asked even though I could give a thousand. 

“You want to know something? I’ve been with plenty of girls before, and yet, I have kept those three words for someone that would be worth it. I love you.”

There was nothing more I could think of to say to him, no words were powerful enough to explain my feelings. I was too overwhelmed by the situation.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

I ran to my bedroom, buried my head in the pillow so no one could see me cry. Whenever he would physically hurt me, I never cried, why would I now that he told me he loved me? I guess I was relieved and happy. So so happy to know that I might have a chance. I needed time to figure out my next move, but he didn’t leave me any. He showed up uninvited in my bedroom, he came up all the way to my bed until I noticed he was there.

“I didn’t want to scare you off but, I want you to know that I will wait for you, all the time you need.”

I sit down, my eyes red from crying too much, he pulled me in for a hug. 

After a few seconds, I pushed him away.

“Puck, I-“

“Please, call me Noah.”

“Alright, Noah, I don’t know much about feelings and how to deal with them, I can’t find the right words to tell you.”

“Then don’t. I’ve read your letter, I know already, and I want to be yours, so badly.”

He cupped my face in his hands and slowly got closer, as if he wanted to ask my permission to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck as our lips touched. It felt as if I’ve been punched in the stomach but... in a good way. I’ve wanted this for the past three years, now I have it and never want to break this. Eventually I have to pull away to catch my breath. 

“Noah, I can’t do this! I don’t want to hide and I’m sure you won’t want to risk ruining your reputation by being seen with me.”

“Who said anything about hiding? I want to show the world that your mine, and I am yours. If you let me prove to you that I am worth trusting, I promise you that you won’t regret it.”

If he was joking, by now he would have said so, this was what he felt from the bottom of his heart. 

“I can’t deny this is all I’ve ever wanted you to say... and I can’t deny I’ve always loved you, and it won’t ever change.”

“So is this a yes? Will you go out with me?”

His eyes were wide open, hanging onto my lips until I finally said;

“Yes. But, before we tell anyone, I want to tell Finn, he’s my brother and I think it would be better if he heard it from me.”

“Yeah... it’s a little too late for that. He’s the one who found the letter.”

“And why would he have given it to you?”

“Because Finn knows everything.”

He took a deep breath and continued.

“When you tell people how we got together, drop that part but, I have had this massive crush on you for a very, very long time. Ask Finn, he heard me ramble on about how good you looked every single day for years.”

It all made sense, the way Finn always talked about Puck like he was a hero, a great guy, about how the two of us were so much alike. It was sort of his way to set us up. There is still one thing that my mind can’t come up with an explanation for. 

“Why did you bully me if you really felt that way?”

“By pretending I hate you, it’s easier to hide I loved you, and I don’t know if you ever noticed out of every other guy I’ve thrown in the dumpsters, I held you in my arms the longest.”

“Come here.” 

I pushed the blankets and waved my hand for him to lay down. I pushed myself in his arms and said;

“Now you just have to ask if you ever need a hug.”

“How did I get this lucky...?”

He held me in his arms like if he let go he would loose me, I felt so happy, safe and loved. 


End file.
